Where should I go to do my residency? Is there any input from all five of my readers out there? Winter seems to be dragging on forever, so the thought of going somewhere boiling hot sounds really good right now. Maybe Arizona would be a good choice. Of course, there are scorpions in Arizona. I wonder how many cases of pancreatitis they see there from scorpion bites. I think that might be only in Jamaica, from the jamaican scorpion. I learned from Gary that the maximum number of scorpions you can send through the US mail is 8. Not 9. Not an even 10. It must be 8. Just in case you wanted to know. If I move to Arizona, watch your mailbox. ha.

Last night I went to the Village Idiot with Sarah and her cousin Gina. We met up with a couple of residents that Sarah is on service with. (yes, I know I ended a sentence with a preposition) One of them, Chad, I have known for a while. He is a complete contradiction to the claim that all surgeons are jerks. The other, Andrew, has been calling me a loser for three weeks, but that's okay. He overhead paged Sarah at the hospital and had her connected to his cell phone so that we would know that they were going to the bar. That's an excellent use of the hospital paging system, if you ask me. Anyway, we drank beer and ate pizza. yay.

I am so freaking tired all of the time. I think today is the first day I have gotten to sleep in for the past two weeks. Can I do this for the next five years? I'm not quite as grumpy in the morning as Missy is, but I do like my sleep. She manages to get her ass out of bed at 4:30 am for work everyday, so maybe there's hope. I have noticed that my compassion for patients takes a nose dive when somebody does something fucking stupid at 4 am and I have to get up and pretend to deal with it. People are obsessed with getting drunk and getting into fights at 4 am. If the bars close at 2, what are they doing for two hours, is my question. I also had a patient's family member tell me to get my white ass out of the room and get a real doctor. So, I stomped out with my white ass and considered letting them wait about forty minutes before I actually got them a real doctor. Of course, it doesn't do to compromise patient care like that, so I went and got his white ass to deal with them. I'm so nice.

Today I have to force myself to study for my oral exam. That makes me mad. 1:16 PM

Ha ha ha!

Dear Abby,
My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time the asshole will buy me a diamond.

Sincerely,
Bitchy in Boston 4:32 PM