<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d5727226\x26blogName\x3dJust+say+Oh\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://tigerlily46.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://tigerlily46.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d969844938426901906', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>


Sunday, July 30, 2006

I start Urology this week. Here are some of the guys I'll be working with. Don't they look like fun?
~Sara~
10:01 PM


Monday, July 17, 2006
I have an announcement.

I did my first successful femoral artery blood draw in the trauma bay last night. My senior resident was trying to get blood from the other side, and couldn't. The nurse passed another kit to me. I wiped the area with betadine, felt the pulse and poked. The blood flew up into the vial like magic. I realize that this is not rocket science, and that many people did femoral sticks in med school. I even tried myself in school a couple of times, without success. Still, I was able to do it under a high pressure situation. This was a level 1 trauma. I know it sounds like I'm bragging, but I'm really just patting myself on the back a little bit. There wasn't any time for someone else to do it. So, GO ME!!!

Things have been getting a little bit better. I know basically what is going on and I can fix a few simple things. I'm learning to focus my energy in the appropriate areas, and I think I finally have a handle on discharge forms and dictation. The hard part is that everything has to be done so FAST and I don't get a lot of time to THINK. It also doesn't help that when I'm confronted with something that needs attention right away, my first reaction is to freeze. I don't think this is uncommon. In fact, in the House of God, one of the laws is, "At a cardiac arrest, the first procedure is to take your own pulse." It doesn't help that my seniors are forever telling me to hurry up. I also don't know how to handle the various attendings. I was in clinic with one doctor, and another showed up in clinic and asked me if I wanted to round. Who wins in this situation? Would I offend the second doctor if I said, "I can't. I'm in clinic with Dr. X." ? That's exactly what I said. In that situation, there was no problem, but I suspect I might not be so lucky next time. I'm trying to keep my head above water, keep the patient list updated, and follow up on the tests we order during the day, but it's really hard.

In fact, I found myself wishing there was no 80 hour work week limit because we had 4 traumas and something like 4 or 5 trauma consults last night when I was on call. You might think that I would want to just run away, and you're right, I do want to run. The problem is that running won't help me or my patients. There is going to be a lot of action taking care of them today, and I'm not going to know what was done until I get there tomorrow morning. Then, I won't have a lot of time to review the charts and I'll be expected to know what happened, and the cycle of feeling like an idiot repeats.

I absolutely cannot wait until my next rotation, which is Urology. It's supposed to be lighter, and I might have more time to read. I'm also looking forward to my vacation, which isn't until September. I almost miss working at Borders. I knew how to do that job. Yes, I was bored out of my mind a lot, but at least I didn't feel like I could power the city of Toledo with my nervous energey when I came home from work.
~Sara~
9:28 PM


Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I overslept and was late for work today. I got in trouble (rightly so). I hated myself over it all day long. Now, I'm afraid to go to sleep, just in case I don't wake up for work. I have set the alarms on my pager, my clock, and my cell phone. What I really need is a brass band and a clock that dumps water on my head. When did I become such a heavy sleeper?

Now I'm the intern who isn't as good as they thought she would be, and doesn't even show up on time. Just shoot me in my fucking head, please.

I have never tried to put more of myself into something as I am into this, and I'm falling on my face all day, everyday. I am utterly baffled by the dictation system in the hospital. I am not one of those people who can just spew out a bunch of facts in an organized fashion. I need something to read, which, of course, defeats the purpose of dictation. If I have to write it, I have wasted my time. Time is a big issue. I run around ALL DAY LONG trying to fill out paperwork. If there is a piece of paper with a few lines on it, it will be something that must be filled out, or signed, or dictated, or framed, or whatever. My residents are trying to help me prioritize my day, but I'm afraid a certain amout of time is going to have to be spent figuring it all out-- from order sheets and protocol to actual medicine. I know they mean well. They're trying to help me become more efficient, and thus, more helpful to the team. I just feel rushed and disorganized. I know you all know how disorganization makes me feel! NOT VERY HAPPY!

I have been doing this for 9 days. Why am I not good at it yet?

I have thought about leaving medicine for the first time this week. I have never really thought that way before.
~Sara~
1:00 AM

About me
profile
My"Space"
Things I love
hot coffee in the morning, lively conversation, the ansa cervicalis, my bed, single malt scotch, men who read, hazelnut gellato, a good secret, people who make me laugh
People I love
Missy
Courtney
Tiffany
Diane
Dave
Lindsay
Carrie
Ifinding
Cardiac Tamponade
MB
Memories
'08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003' '09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003' '10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003' '11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003' '12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004' '01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004' '02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004' '03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004' '04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004' '05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004' '06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004' '07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004' '08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004' '09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004' '10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004' '11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004' '12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005' '01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005' '02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005' '03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005' '04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005' '05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005' '06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005' '07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005' '08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005' '09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005' '10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005' '11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005' '12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006' '01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006' '02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006' '03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006' '04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006' '05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006' '06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006' '07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006' '08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006' '09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006' '10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006' '11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006' '12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007' '03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007' '04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007' '05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007' '06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007' '09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007' '11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007' '12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008'
crédits
picture design: © Alexander Karpenko 2005 | aikart@pisem.net or AiK-art
skin: slayerette, modified by Sara
image font: adine kirnberg script