My Sleep Schedule is all Messed UP!

Thanks to the ER, working crazy shifts and feeling wired every night when I get home. I haven't fallen asleep before 4 AM this whole month. How am I going to go back to working 6 am to 6 pm? Huh? I had a lady come into the ER today complaining of insomnia for the last 5 weeks. Well, sign me up, sister. I'm right there with ya.

I'm in the November dolldums already. I work. I try to sleep. I read. I go out and have a sort-of-fun night every so often. Where is the guy with tattoos and a fireman suit to sweep me off my feet? I'm bored. Where does this fascination with fireman uniforms come from, anyway? The tattoos I understand. I have always liked them. Guys with tattoos are bad. You can't take them home to your mama. The know all kinds of dirty tricks and will keep you guessing. The fireman thing-- do I want to be rescued, or something? I very seldom need any kind of help. I can kind of hold human hearts in my hands without flinching (much), know what I'm saying? I'm not really into the introspective internal medicine guy. I'm not feeling the lawyers. Other surgeons will always be hot, packaged right. It's just not a good idea to have any in-hospital trysts, or so I've been told.

I think I need a hobby, or a vacation.

I have tomorrow off. I'll probably sleep in until noon and then read about the esophagus for hours on end. What a gripping life I do lead. I need to get back into the OR. Blood and guts will make me feel better. 1:44 AM

Tattoos Don't Hurt and Other Random Thoughts

It's almost 3 AM and I'm sitting here in the ER waiting for something to happen, or waiting for nothing to happen so I can go home at 9:00. A twelve hour shift down here is so LONG. Things haven't been all that busy, so I guess for that I can be thankful. We have not had a single trauma since I came in, which is bo-ring for me. It has been a lot of "syncope" and "nausea" and "headache." Not that I have been using my time to catch up on my medical records. Oh no. I'm sitting here blogging and screwing around with my myspace, which eats up portions of my life like you would not believe. I should have brought my Sabiston's so I could teach myself something about surgery. Or, maybe there could be another mock trauma. That would be okay as long as another medical student doesn't get violated.

I got a tattoo today, or rather, one got started today. It is SO beautiful. It's cherokee writing surrounded by flowers, and it's on my lower back. I'll probably post some pictures soon. Right now it's kinda red and swollen, so I'm going to wait until it doesn't look like it hurts so much. It really didn't hurt too much at all. I was scared right before we started. What if I did something really dumb, like passed out? They say that the spots that are right over bone are the most painful. The places that are right over my spine hurt, but the part where you would think all the fat on my ass would protect me actually hurt a little more. Who knew?

I would give almost anything to have someone go to medical records for me and do my discharge dictations. There must be like 30 of them. It's going to take me hours, and I'm on the bad girl list so they have to be done. The bad girl list is a list of bad girls who are behind on thier medical records and are soon to be fined $100 per day if they don't get finished.

This has been kinda stream of consciousness, so I will finish with:

Tomorrow is Friday, bitches. I don't have to work until 2:00 on Saturday. Let's go party. 2:56 AM

He smiled understandingly-- much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with the quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you might come across four or five times in your life. It faced-- or seemed to face-- the whole external world for an instant, and then concenterated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just so far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey. 8:50 PM

Sometimes reading for work is like going to the dentist. You dread it for a few days, and when it's finally over, you feel great. I procrastinated myself into reading at 11:00 pm tonight. I did all sorts of good stuff. I cleaned my house, paid some bills, dropped off my ideas to Woody at Infinite Art for my tattoo, took a looooong nap, talked on the phone, and kept up on my myspace correspondance. I also spent about 45 minutes lying on my living room floor listening to Poison and Skid Row. Why? Because I'm old, so shut up. If hair metal brings up some feelings of nostalgia, that's all me.

I think I was in a rut.
I'm climbing out.
If it takes a little bit of "Every Rose has its Thorn" that's okay, right?

My final task for the night is to put clean sheets on my bed. I have been sleeping on the spare bed for days because I'm too lazy to get my sheets out of the dryer.

I think I might have a date this weekend. :) Cool. 12:06 AM

Shortest Fairy Tale.................

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, and never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid. She watched chick flicks, never football, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, swore and farted all the time.

THE END 6:36 PM


Here's a picture of Sarah and me at Doc's. I'm drunk and she's laughing at me. Just like old times.

I think I'm going to have a Halloween party. I'm going to make a bunch of geeks who wear scurbs all day dress up in costumes, come over my house, and eat candy. Well... maybe costumes won't be required. They will only be encouraged. I love Halloween. It used to be an excuse to get dressed up and wear a lot of make-up. I realize that that is just another Saturday night for me, now, but I still love Halloween.

I woke up at 8:00 am today and almost had a heart attack because it was light outside and I never drive to work in daylight. Then, I remembered that I'm on ER and I didn't have to go in unitl 11:00. I did some laundry, took some time to eat breakfast, and read about antibiotics for an hour. This ER thing isn't so bad, unless I'm actually there. When I'm there, I watch the clock all day. I honestly can't believe I actually thought about doing Neurology. The neuro patients are the worst. I'm referring to the migraine patients in particular. They amost always have the same conglomeration of illnesses. They have migraine (obviously), irritible bowel, depression, fibromyalgia, anxiety, and usually some perscription drug dependence. Sometimes there's a few drug allergies, like allergy to everything but dilaudid, thrown in there to make life interesting. I was trying to select out the surgical patients, or at least patients with belly pain or trauma, and one of the docs accused me of "cherry picking" patients. I had already done like 4 pelvic exams, and taken care of 3 migraine people two hours into my shift. That, ladies and gentleman, is what we call paying dues. Shouldn't I be able to pick something interesting? It's weird being on ER because I feel like I'm far away from my buddies in the surgery program. They all come down for traumas and consults, but it's not the same. Sometimes I get berated for letting bs consults get through. I get the news and gossip in a delayed fashion. It's lonely down there. Oh well. Only three more weeks. 12:13 AM

I'm okay. Are you okay?

It has been a crazy week, and I don't think I'll be completely recovered from it for a while. The hospital was...ugh. My senior was on vacation, so I was responsible for the service myself. This is not as bad as it seems. I had lots of help from my senior residents. Still, I drove myself crazy with it. You don't know what it is to come in and feel like you might die if your patients didn't make it through the night without any problems until you feel like it's all on you if they didn't. So far, everyone, even their doctor, survived. I learned a lot about medicine this week, and managed to juggle my responsibilites outside the hospital with a fair amount of grace. So, I'm okay.

I switch to ER this week. Fortunately, my first shift isn't until tomorrow at 11:00 am. I got home from work at 7:30 this morning and slept until about an hour ago. I think I really needed it. I still have a pile of medical records that need my attention, and I have to read for my quiz that will be on Wednesday morning. I'll probably stay up for another hour or so trying to get my life in some sort of order.

God. This is so boring.
I could really use another vacation. 12:10 AM